Typhoon Sendong

Welcome Winnie

Welcome Winnie:  When we arrived in the Philippines it was hard not to be aware of all the stray cats and dogs in the streets and neighborhoods.  Alana and I have a special place in our hearts for animals and love having them around; have you ever met our Colorado girls (Bouree & Dharma)? Then when we started to talk about getting our own place after the three month training we had to promise each other it would not become a stray animal shelter because we have no intention of bringing animals back to the US after our service is over.

About 6 weeks ago two stray street cats each dropped a litter of kittens on the LCP (Little Children of the Philippines) campus.  It was a weird thing to experience because the mothers were barely around and didn't seem to be taking care of their litters.  I guess it makes sense since the mothers were street cats and barely surviving out of people's trash.  The litters were almost two weeks old and slowly dying when the LCP guards started talking about tossing them over the fence because of the strict policy at LCP that there be no pets . . . there is barely enough food for the children.

 We talked about it for a few days and one night Alana came home and . . . WELCOME WINNIE!!!  We didn't name her for another 48 hours and her name came from one of the boys at LCP who helped Alana find Winnie under the porch the night Alana brought her home.  

She was so cute, tiny, and dying.  We really didn't know if she would make it through the night because of how weak she was.  She could barely stand or move herself around.  She ate a little, then the next morning she ate a little more, then a small bit of lunch, and by dinnertime she was walking (not fast mind you) around the apartment.  

By day two she was moving pretty good and started displaying energy and personality.  Before we knew it she was climbing up the stairs, even though she would jump a few steps at a time and have to rest for a few seconds before attempting another . . . very cute.

We quickly established the bushes outside as the place to use the bathroom by snabbin' her up every time we saw her scratching in the corner.  Inside of 24 hours she was gladly holding her schtuff until we got her to the bushes, which was often.  Now she loves those bushes . . . yes!!!

We also established a cardboard box in our room as her sleeping apartment and she started climbing in it to go to sleep after the first night.  The first few weeks we had her, just like human babies, she seemed to sleep most of the time.  She could be playing hard with one of us one minute and out cold the next.

Another Peace Corps Volunteer down the road said she wanted a kitten too and Alana scooped up Winnie's little sister (we called her 'the little one') and brought her home.  After a few days of eating she was looking energetic and the two of them of course were the cutest things to watch playing, sleeping, chasing, wrestling, etc.

The volunteer backed out and there we were with two kittens.  When I started talking about tossing 'the little one' over the fence Alana started seriously looking for a home for her.  'The little one' ended up going home with Pastor, the spiritual leader from LCP.  We continue to get reports on how she is doing and it sounds like she is a perfect fit for Pastor and his family.

We wanted to make sure we exposed Winnie to as much as we could as early as possible so we started taking her places.  One day we took her to the beach and she loved that.  It only took a 10 minutes bike ride and a 20-minute jeepney ride and she was great on both, both ways.  At that time she was only about as big as a naval orange.  We returned with a small backpack of beach sand and improved her bathroom spot in the bushes.  She's really diggin' it now . . . get it? . . . diggin?

Then we started taking her with us every time we visited the LCP children. Winnie is great at riding in a bag when we are on bikes.  After our visits with the children she is usually pretty exhausted and sometimes falls asleep.  When she is not, she sometimes crawls out of the bag and precariously hangs out on our shoulders because she likes looking around.

Also, when we take the long ride once a week to spend a few hours with the LCP Consuelo boys (14-18 year olds) she rides on the top of my backpack.  It is often dark, she is way off the ground, and we are moving at a pretty good pace so I guess that discourages her from jumping off, even though a few times she crawled down the backpack and hung off my pants to get off when we pulled up to the apartment.  We'll see how long that lasts.  For now, she usually finds a good spot to settle into and is quiet and just looks around.  It is pretty cute to observe Alana tells me and we get tons of looks and chuckles from the locals.

We've had her now for about 6 weeks and we love her.  She goes outside when we ask her to, she comes when we call her (most of the time), she sticks around our back yard when we leave her out for hours early in the morning or late in the afternoon and loves hanging out on the bicycle seats, she plays and plays and plays (with us and easily on her own), she hangs out at our feet all the time when we are in the kitchen cooking and we've only stepped on her real bad twice, and she is growing.  She is also a snuggle bunny.

Most recently she has been hiding and then jumping out to attack us as we come in the room.  Also, a few nights she didn't sleep with us and in the morning we found little pooh's in the shower (makes for an easy cleanup).  It makes us laugh out loud to watch her run real fast across the room then jump up in the air as if she got hit with a air gun from below.  Alana's favorite thing about Winnie is her little pur-box that gets going when we snuggle :-)

I love coming home and even though she is playing with or snuggled up to Alana, Winnie will jump up and run across the room to greet me.  She does the same with Alana.  Probably the only thing that is a negative about our new housemate is that the 4-5 gekos we once had patrolling the walls and ceiling are gone . . . and that means more ants, centipedes, and spiders. 

Looking forward to next weeks Ant Destroying Training/Seminar and will keep you updated on Winnie's progress.  Who said cats can't be trained?

Winnie TP Fournet IV

Midway Point... Say Cheese!

Unbelievable.  We head to Manila this week for our Mid-Service Training.  That means we’re half way through our Peace Corps service.  We will finish one year from Wednesday. That milestone, along with an honest question from a good friend, has got me to thinkin’…

After looking at some of my pictures on Facebook, Shannon asked me “are you really as happy as you look in your photos?”  Hmmmm.  

Yes, I am very happy.  Yes, I amm very frustrated.  Yes, I am feeling hopeless.  Yes, I am full of hope...

I read a book called "How Can I Help?" (Ram Dass & Paul Gorman) recently which helped me understand why this experience that is "supposed to be so much about giving" feels so much about me.  They say, "Can we see that to be of most service to others, we must face our own doubts, needs, and resistances?  We’ve never grown without having done so."

As I glance back at old e-mails and journal entries, I see one recurring theme: roller coaster.  Maybe it's all part of trying to find the balance between giving and growing.

“Welcome to the Viper folks, sit down, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.”  I love the anticipation of slowly crawling up that first peak of a roller coaster.  “What’s the drop going to be like?”, “how fast will we go?”, “will there be a loop-de-loop?”  Waking up each morning here is a little like buckling up.  I never know what will happen when I show up at LCP.  

Yesterday, after devotion, my counterpart for School-On-Wheels (SOW) told me she would go out to some new communities to recruit more students.  “If you will come, it will be very okay.”  We met a group of 6 youth under a large tree in a community of shack homes and dirt paths.  The group displayed interest in joining SOW, so we asked to speak to their parents.  All but one were from the same family.  “Take us to your house” instructed my counterpart.  “Oh ma’am, we don’t have a house.” Sure enough, after making our way through a series of thrown together homes with scrap wood walls and tin roofs, we met the parents cooking on their open fire next to their tarp home.  All of the possessions of somewhere between 8 and 12 people fit in a small heap along one edge of their tarp wall.  My counterpart was so stricken afterward.  She said to me, "if we really listen to their stories, all we will want to do is sit down and cry."  

I might be a little twisted.  I haven't figured it out yet... and there's something about landing in those kinds of situations that makes me feel ________ (grateful?  human? connected?)   

“All right everyone hands up and scream!”  The thrill of a rapid decent is two- fold: it’s just plain fun to go fast, and there’s still the anticipation of what is coming next.  This is the best spot for taking pictures… and is akin to riding my bike around town.  I get ridiculous pleasure out of counting the number of pedicabs I pass as I weave in and out of traffic. And, with “traffic suggestions” over “traffic laws”, I never know what might happen on the road.  A jeepney ahead of me might make an un-signaled stop to drop off a passenger, a speeding bus might appear to be heading directly for me (you can travel faster in the wrong lane, you know), or a local will shout out “hey Joe, can I have your bike?” and I realize he’s talking to me just about the same time I nearly rear-end the jeepney.  Being alert and a little aggressive seems the best way to move with traffic.  I like that.  

“Hold your breath as you loop-de-loop!”  In the loop, there are moments of upside-down exhilaration, counteracted with instants of terror.  Hello… marriage.  Turns out we’re not superhuman aliens immune to the challenges posed by uniting two independent individuals.  I’m learning a lot about myself as we learn how to be “us”.  Shannon describes this best.  “Getting to know each other more and more, and the demands of being a partnership.... sure does stir up some things. It was so much easier to have my insanity moments in private.”  I guess that’s just it.  Being with someone I adore and respect challenges me to understand my “insanity” so I can get over it.  It’s just that it can be hard work and sometimes I’m lazy/fearful/in denial/resistant and sometimes I want Jacques to be the one to “just know” so I don’t have to do the work.  Seriously, it finally hit me the other day that Jacques really doesn’t know what I want or need until I tell him.  Duh.  And just because I think I’ve told him, doesn’t mean he actually understands.  Double duh.  Some of our conversations feel like a bad rendition of “Who’s on First”.  I'm not sure this is so much about being in the Peace Corps, as much as it is trying to figure out the whole marriage thing.  

And the exhilaration comes from having a partner in crime to take on new adventures with.  We were able to get certified to scuba dive two weeks ago.  Life under the sea is breathtaking and mystical.  Last week we rode our bikes an hour away to stay at a little place with good food and a great beach.  Our pictures sometimes make it seem as though we’re less in the Peace Corps and more on an extended honeymoon.  Work hard... play hard?

“Please stay seated as we come to a stop.”  I have never liked the let down of the finish; with the grinding of the brakes on metal and all the other excited people waiting in line for their turn.  There are never pictures of this part of the ride.  Much like the end of the ride, the truth is, some things have been really disheartening.  I haven’t physically been myself since back surgery.  I do a lot of research trying to get answers.  Jacques says he often comes home wondering what my next magical cure will be… “if you stand on one foot and sniff a marker”… 

When it comes to work, it’s a practice in letting go.  I want to complete the projects my organization asks of me in order to meet their need, and what they ask me to I don’t always understand,  it sometimes seems inefficient, and it's not always what I’m good at.  (Wait, hold on… okay, better.  I had to adjust my Princess crown.)

Day-to-day, it’s challenging to be the outsider in a new culture.  I have new empathy for “different”: for example, people of color living in very “white” communities, people with disabilities trying to maneuver in a world for the fully able, and immigrants trying to establish themselves in a foreign land.  There’s not a day when my white skin, my size, my hair, and my language abilities are not a topic of conversation.  (The difference for me is that I am generally very welcomed and respected- because I’m American).

And probably most difficult of all is seeing others in need, wanting desperately to help, and not really knowing what to do.  


I'm trying to make sense of this wisdom from "How Can I Help?":


                        Implicit in any model of who we think we are is a message to everyone about who they are… 
                    the more you see yourself as “helper”, the more need for people to play the passive “helped”.
                    Sometimes we have to be shown that all of us are better off when we’re free of attachment to 
                    being helpers. 


Four of us sat on the Boulevard the other day, eating our lunch under a tree and marveling at the beautiful ocean.  Since this is a hot spot for foreigners, it’s also the place-to-be for street children and other beggars.  Various groups of youth approached us with open hands extended, “give me money”.  We’ve all adapted to this in different ways.  Jacques playfully responds, “no, you give me money” with his hand wide open.  Akesa holds off and waits for the tourist-trap-junk vendors to come along.  They offer her an assortment of sunglasses, she offers them her bike helmet (“very cheap”). Evelyn, being fluent in Cebuano, strikes up conversation.  I just smile a lot and try to make eye contact.  


I'm glad none of us respond with "let's get out of here".  It's tempting to go indoors to a nice air-conditioned building where no one is begging, people are clean, and our heart strings aren't being yanked out of our chests.     

"Then I curse my whiteness and I get so damn depressed, 

in a world suffering, why should I be so blessed?"

                                                                                                                                      - Brett Dennen 

“We hope you enjoyed your ride, enjoy the rest of your day.” These roller coaster occurrences happen minute to minute.  On Tuesday, as I rode my bike through town inhaling exhaust from a sea of 2-cycle engines, all I could think was “What am I doing here?”  Thirty minutes later I was laughing with Bhebhe at LCP about everything, and nothing, and all I could think was “I love this place.”

  

“C’mon you guys, can we get in line again?”  The best part of the ride; making the decision to get in line and do it all over again, or...hop in line for the next, maybe faster, maybe longer ride. “Sit down, buckle up... and smile for a photo!”

 

PCPhilippines Update #43

Begging, A Perspective: Since the last Update that was partially about beggars, I started checking out the government programs in Dumaguete that assist the poor.  I plan on making a map with the 3-4 different places that can help needy people get back on their feet with medical aid, food, and job training.  When beggars ask me for money I may just give them a map.  We'll see.

 

I also received quite a few email responses with valuable feedback, wisdom, advice, insight, and interesting stories from PCPhilippines Update readers about how to handle the beggars in Dumaguete.  Here are two I found particularly interesting and helpful, both a reflection of using our hearts as well as our heads.

 

 

Dear Jacques and Alana,

 

I would first like to start off by saying I love your Philippines updates. Please continue sending them.

 

Jacques, I too wrestle with the question (almost daily) concerning panhandlers, beggars, and the poor. I can tell you what helps me is, instead of looking at the question in its entirety, break it down to the definitions of what a panhandler, beggar, and poor person is.

 

A panhandler is defined as a person who asks for money from others through begging. They will 99% of the time refuse any offering of food or sustenance but will instead insist upon a gift of money. Your example of the man who makes $60-80,000 a year falls into this category.

 

A beggar is a person who for reasons, many times not known to us, solicits help or assistance (monetary or nutritional) in order to survive. Their circumstances for the actual act of begging are dictated by the fact that they usually have mental or physical abnormalities that inhibit or limit their opportunities in society.

 

And finally, I consider the poor to be defined as, those groups of people who are working and surviving but making the absolute bare minimum in order to survive.

 

It is certainly a difficult question we all struggle with. Perhaps, the following excerpts will help with your dilemma.

 

1. I have experienced aggressive, convincing panhandlers in many situations. I have seen many people standing at interstate exit ramps and elsewhere with signs saying they want work. I am as moved by the needs of truly deserving people as anyone, perhaps more so.

 

2. For several years I did inner city mission projects and worked closely with ministries in inner cities such as Chicago, Boston and Louisville. I learned a lot, and my responses to those people changed as a result.

 

- Aggressive panhandlers are almost always professional beggars. Many times they are active and wanted criminals. In the right place with the right approach, they can make several hundred dollars a day. (A seminary class I was in proved this. Students lived on the streets for 24 hours and begged for money and food. The results were amazing.)

 

- Local police and ministries are almost always familiar with these people. Asking them to come with you to a “Help” Ministry or to a police officer will quickly reveal what is actually going on.

 

- Aggressive panhandlers have very similar stories involving traveling, ill relatives, hospitals, gas, car repair, being lost, babies, etc.

 

- Aggressive panhandlers will almost always turn down the invitation to buy them a meal. They insist on quick cash.

 

- Ministries that deal with this are very clear: Don’t give money to aggressive panhandlers. Report them. They hurt the real work of mercy ministry in a community.

 

3. Another group of people asking for help will be alcoholics and drug addicts. Again, they almost always insist on cash, and generally will refuse to be taken to a shelter, ministry or police station. It is important not to allow an alcoholic or addict to use Christian compassion to further their addiction. True compassion is to put them in touch with help.

 

4. Dave Ramsey tells the story of working with his church’s benevolence ministry. They put three guidelines into place for all people asking for financial or food assistance. 1) Work an hour or two at the church. 2) Meet with a member of the church to make out a budget. 3) Attend one church service. Ramsey says that over 95% of persons asking for financial help did not return when these guidelines were given to them. This is a good indicator of the actual makeup of most benevolence requests.

 

If a person does not believe that prudence and wisdom need to accompany generosity, consider this situation: John and Jenny are at the movies. They come out and a panhandler asks for $20 for gas. Jenny gives it to him and they skip dinner together. The next day, Jenny and John are enrolling in college. A panhandler meets Jenny on the steps of the administration building and asks for $2000 to fly to his mother’s funeral in the Solomon Islands. Jenny has the money in her checkbook. Should she write the check?

 

If not, why not? If prudence and wisdom should come into play with $2000, then it should also come into play with $20.

 

5. Money given to aggressive panhandlers is money that can’t be given to the truly poor. Go to any ministry that deals with people who are truly poor. They will tell you that almost none of those poor people would be on the streets begging in America today because of the dangers, the criminal element, and so forth. Addiction, mental illness, con artists, and criminal intent are on most of America’s streets. The truly poor will be known to local shelters, ministries, schools, and social workers. There are many opportunities to give to families and children who truly need the money and would never be begging on the streets with a story such as we commonly hear from panhandlers.

 

6. Every situation of compassion also has elements of wisdom. My son recently asked me for financial assistance to attend a writer’s workshop. I am not going to automatically give him the money in the name of Christian compassion. I am going to be a good steward and a good manager of what God has given me, and ask questions before giving. This is true at every level of giving. I receive hundreds of appeals every year. Dozens of students and missionaries ask for my support. (Many of them make far more than I do!) I am very selective about whom I give to and I ask many questions before giving. I believe this is God-honoring, as much as the generosity itself.

 

7. Jesus’ words are meant to underline the compassion and freedom of the Christian. Our generosity is an important expression of our discipleship. At times, we need to give with much less than perfect knowledge, and at times we need to obey the Spirit as he gives opportunity. But we are also to know the “streets and highways” where we are, and we are not to volunteer to be robbed as a witness. Aggressive panhandlers like Sundays, and they like Christians. We need to give them a dollar, a coupon, and a brochure for the local “Help” office. We need to give to the truly needy a gift that will make a difference in their lives.

 

8. Apply the parenting test. If your child got $50 from grandma, would you tell them to give it to anyone at school who said they needed it? Or would you want some wisdom, prudence, and stewardship to follow their compassion?

 

9. I know I sound like Scrooge, but I really think stewardship is not just pure generosity. Generosity is an essential component, but it needs to be tempered by prudence, wisdom, and good judgment.

 

So in short, I hope it helps. Whatever you do, be true to yourself, your heart, and ultimately the Holy Spirit. God bless you both and stay safe!

 

Love Always,

MTA

 

 

Hello lovely you.

 

I adore your reflections and can't keep up enough on reading them.

 

Begging.  In the US we see this often and usually associated with homelessness.  In California after Reagan cut all the mental health institutions the homeless populations increased by close to 80 + percent.  There have been other studies that say the majority of the homeless population is caught in cycles of mental illness and addiction.  So here in the states, people who are begging may not have the capacity that you and I have to get a job.

 

Second.  I can't imagine how hard it must be to beg for money.  I know the times when I had to borrow money, it felt shameful and brought up all my stuff.  For those of us that are used to taking care of ourselves begging seems really challenging, maybe harder than working.  And basically, beggars are giving off the air of being bottom feeders.  They don't get respect, probably don't have healthy connections, and there is such desperation around it.

 

And.  There needs to be all sorts of people.  As we all are working out our life lessons and doing what we do and it can be a hard road.  I appreciate you knowing that you don't know someone else's experience.

 

One thing more thing about begging.  I think in a moral high ground we think people who are begging must need food, the most basic thing because that is why they are begging.  And if they want money but will not take our food we may make judgments about them, i.e., they want money for drugs or alcohol and I will not contribute to that.

 

What if we open our thinking even more and decided if someone asks us for something, and it is a gift, "Here I am giving you two dollars," then how does it reflect back on us when we decide what they spend it on?  "If you want two dollars, you must spend it on food."  Well what if their daughter needs medication or they are trying to pay rent, they may not want food.  Oftentimes people who are begging are down and out.  They might want drugs and alcohol and they might not spend it on food for their kids.

 

What concerns me across the board it that obviously this begging system is not bringing these folks out of a system of poverty or working with mental illness or addiction.  This feels like a huge problem in our culture and obviously in our world.  And whether you and I decide to give to it doesn't really solve it, the begging system will continue as long as there are people who are desperate.  Begging is a desperate system, stealing is desperate.

 

Bottom line.  What is giving?  What is unconditional giving?  If I give you a hundred dollars and say you can spend it these three ways, is it a gift or some version of you being indebted to me.  I stopped giving presents years ago because I don't want to give people things for the sake of giving (or to feed me in some way).  I want to give in a way that is unconditional.  And I will continue to ask myself when I hand a beggar $2 from my air-conditioned car, am I doing it for him or for me.  Right now I am humble enough to say I do it for me.  But there is a second when I look into the person's eyes and tell them to "take care of themselves," I can't explain it, I find my own humanity, and this is selfish.

 

I was working at the Hyatt one day walking to my shift and a woman walked up to me and said, "I wonder if you could give me five dollars, I am not going to lie to you, I am going to buy vodka with it."  I handed her the only money I had which was $5 and walked on.  I didn't give it to her because she told me the truth, I just realized at that moment I had more than she did, like a house and food and a job.  I guess I still go back to it must be a hard life, begging, living on the streets, and I can't imagine how hard it would be.

 

Jaco you have taught me a lot about money and abundance.  I thank you for that as I live my uber comfortable lifestyle.   You have been so generous, and allowed me to understand that giving can be a form of receiving.  I don't make 160 a month and usually make twice that on the days that I work.  I know for me, I have given up deciding what is best for someone else when I give them money.  If it is to support their drug habit or buy them a roll, it doesn't matter.  Because when I look at that person begging, I know that they are the same as me, I just happen to be sitting in a car and have the gift of being able to give.  And life is a strange odd mix of things, in some years, who knows if they will be in the car and I will be begging.

 

I love, love, love, your reflections!  I miss you like a horse.

 

much love,

 

JB

 

PS.  I have heard many stories about the beggars who make $60,000-$80,000 per year.  I chalk it up to an urban myth.  It would talk a lot of dollars, dimes, and quarters to make that and I don't buy it.  Unless the person is stealing or happens to begin the year with $50,000 in their pocket.  But you Jaco are the mathematician, I would love to see how many quarters, dimes, and dollars a day someone would have to make.

 

 

Another email referred me to a book, When Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty Without Hurting the Poor . . . and Yourself by Brian Fikkert, Steve Corbett and John Perkins (Jul 1, 2009).  The excerpt of it sounded exciting and I'm looking forward to reading it.  Alana got loaded onto her Kindle for $7.50 (PhP 375) just under of 2 minutes after I asked her to get me the book.  I just love the Internet . . . and America!!!